"Debit all expenses and losses... Credit all incomes and gains... and this is the golden rule you have to remember all your life.. " said the accountancy professor...
I along with my best buddies Sidney and Sheldon (yes they exist and it's not some stupid English author's name that I stole !), sitting on the last bench playing video games and watching xxx on our mobile phones...
Mr Shah, our accounts professor knew about all that was happening there on the last bench but had no hope in changing us. He wasn't interested in fact.
This was another summer vacation. But this time it was not a vacation anymore as we were attending special class for class 12th. 10th standard and 12th standard vacations are not vacations. they're spoilers! We were extremely poor in academics and the only interesting part about these stupid classes was girls! I along with Sheldon used to rate girls based on their looks and dressing style while Sydney was busy with his mobile phone most of the time.
One day, in between the class, she arrived. As she opened the door to ask permission, all of us thought the same! yeah! she was a BABE!
We were happy to have a fresh face and as I was constantly staring at her, Sheldon whispered in my ears..
"jis se pati.. uski..."
I looked at him and realised this is going to be a messy affair as Sydney was also staring at her!
As she moved in she had no place to sit and she headed towards the last bench where there was a little space left. She came to me and asked " excuse me!.."
I didn't respond. I just moved aside and she sat next to me. I could smell some smoke in the air. Not because she was hot, but the other two fellows next to me were burning inside. Now suddenly all that fun stopped on the last bench and we were totally silent. No porn, no video games, no chats and no mobile phones. We were very conscious about such a pretty girl sitting next to us and were trying to focus on Mr Mehta rather!
That evening we went to the tapri below our classes and while having a cutting (half-a-glass of tea!) along with Sanjay Vada pav, Sydney said... " I guess she'll already have someone!"
I asked in anger cum curiosity " Now, why do you think so?"
He said... "experience"... "every hot girl is born with a boyfriend"
Discussions were based on the pretty face and then we dispersed.
I reached home, and as my mom opened the doors, I was terrified to find the same pretty face inside my house. She was there with her parents and my mom introduced me to them.. she said " this is my son... he's also of the same age as Lakshmi.. " she then turned to me and pointing towards the huge man sitting on the couch she said " & he is Mr Iyer... He was your dad's colleague in Tuticorin and they've now moved to Mumbai... She's Lakshmi and they stay on the flat below that of ours! "
I was shocked and terrified. But happy inside. i shook hands with her and asked ... "I guess I've seen you somewhere.... "
She said.. "yes of course! I too have seen you in Commerce class"
Wooooow! she noticed me! I was ecstatic inside and expressionless outside! I smiled at Mr and Mrs Iyer and moved in...
I called both Sydney and Sheldon to update about this incident and that was a conference call.. I was screaming and teasing both of them. As I was jumping with happiness inside my room, I found my mom staring at me standing near the door. I had to disconnect the call. Then there was this moment in between us wherein i had to find a valid reason for my happiness. I told my mom... " Amma... I got 1st in my class test..."
She smiled and hugged me tight... She said .. "This is a very crucial year... Study well and score well..."
I had a devilish smile on my face... :)
(To be continued....)
Part Two
I went to the class the day after... She smiled at me and obviously Sheldon and Sydney were upset and not so happy. That day I decided to talk to her after the class and as we both had to go the same way, I decided to cut the cutting part at the tapri.
It is said that the most difficult creatures on earth to convince are girls but personally I'd say It's easy to convince a girl than trying to convince guys who're single. They'l call you a loser and they'l try to prove that you're desperate fellow and the last dialogue you can expect is "Saala ab ladki mil gaya to dost ko bhool gaya!"
But again you have to smile and learn to balance your friendship and love.
I decided to go with her... She was basically silent and I was very talkative as usual. I kept on talking about my friends, my past, present, music and movies... She smiled all the way. It was very difficult to make if she was smiling with boredom or was she really enjoying the company.
We were neighbors! WOW! I thought if I ever had such a nice neighbor before. Now we had to separate our ways as she will get down at the 11th floor and we stayed on the 12th. I wanted to ask her number but was very shy and confused how to ask for it. I had this mindset that girls consider guys flirt if they ask for their contact number.
As I was preparing myself for that, the elevator reached the 11th floor, doors opened, She smiled and said "Thank You.. gudnite.."
I was wondering what that thank you was for. The doors got closed with her smiling face in between and I took as sigh of relief. But then I felt terrible as I couldn't even dare to ask for her number and I banged on the walls of that elevator.
The doors opened again. It was 11th floor and she was amused to find me hitting the walls.. She asked..
"What's wrong mate?"
I said.. "aah.. nothing.. my friend just had an accident.. I got a text"
"Who? Sheldon? Sydney?" she appeared a little to worried about those morons!
"Nope.. you don't know them.. " I declared...
"Well... I just wanted to ask for your number.. If you don't mind!" she said..
"hey... why would I? Actually I too wanted to ask for your number... But then I just forgot!" I exclaimed.
She gave me a missed call and there was it... Her name on my mobile phone.... :)
(To be continued...)
Part Three
Recharge Coupons were like a drug that I got badly addicted to. After finishing all my pocket money, after surviving all that hunger (I even had to sacrifice Tapri ka Cutting for that matter... ) I kept feeding my phone like my baby.
I realised, talking on phone is a difference experience all together. We spoke all night and day. We shared all likes and dislikes... expressions and expectations... Obviously when your parents see you stuck with your mobile phone, they go crazy and ask you to shut up and shut your mobile phone!
Our romance was on the peak... our talks became sensual day by day... we used to put our head phones and get inside the blanket and chat all night so that the voice doesn't come out to reach our parents...
Though she stayed just below me, we could hardly meet as Mr Iyer had a huge doubt on me. He could feel something was terribly cooking.
In the meantime, we sat on the same row inside the class and shared glances at each other. We used to communicate by sending texts to each other and it was all heaven.
Mr Shah too got to know about us and Sheldon with Sydney kept on playing video games with porn stars.
We went out on a date and I asked her whether i can kiss her.
Believe me, I never wanted to kiss her just because of her beauty, it was more or less because I was the only boy in my whole company who is yet to taste a kiss!
She said ... " we're too young to do all that sweets..."
That evening... it happened...
She was there at her house which was just below that of mine and there was no one at my place. I asked her to come up and she did that without knowing the fact that I was alone. As she reached the staircase, I went out and asked her to get in...
She said... " hey yaar... I am scared... my dad's there at home!"
I said... " C'mon Laksh... how will he? just chill and relax..."
I hugged her tight and she was full of fragrance... Her hair had this amazing smell of "Dove"...
I said... "Hey we also use Dove"... she smiled.. her body had a different fragrance all together and with her body temperature and wet hair, I could sense that she just had her evening shower...
It was like a dream come true... Yes there she is... in my arms... the same pretty girl who was a stranger couple of weeks ago....
I asked... " Do you believe in black magic?"
She said "No... definately not.."
I made a sarcastic face and said "Okay then leave it... "
She was anxious. She was a GIRL... :)
She exclaimed... " Now... why did you ask me that? Don't tell me if you believe in all that crap!"
I didn't respond... I just looked at her innocent eyes and smiled.
Now that was it... She was as excited and curious as a kid... She asked " arre bolna.. Do you know anything about all that?"
I smiled and asked " Now why would you want to know about all that when you don't even believe in it?"
"Okay... tell me one good reason why I should trust you... I should believe you?" said Laksmi...
" What if I say I can kiss you, without even touching you?" I asked...
"Without touching? Oh! c’mon!
What crap! You can’t fool me by saying all this… I’m not that stupid okay?”
"Arre it's magic! Illusion... and as it is used for bad intentions it is called as BLACK MAGIC.. believe it or not!"
I could
see her curiosity twinkling deep in her eyes….
“Theek
hai to lagi 100-100 ki? If I show you I can do this without touching you, you will
have to give me 100 rupees… or else I will pay you….” I challenged.
“Okay…
sure… why not!” she said after thinking for a while but still confused and
worried.
I went
ahead… and as I reached near her, her eyes closed. I kissed her tight. And it
was just a magical moment which didn’t last for more than a couple of seconds.
It was over. She looked more beautiful. We were in a Trans! lol
Suddenly
she realized that she won the bet and she happily asked " Heyyyy I won... you touched me!"
I removed my wallet and took a hundred out and said... "Yes! I lost... But I got a kiss for Rs100!"
She was terrified, upset and angry... I realized this could go out of proportion and as I was trying to hug her and make out... The Calling bell rang.
We suddenly came out of that TRANS and we were shocked to find our-self locked inside my apartment. I asked her to go inside the bedroom and I tried to convince her that it's our Doodhwalah and she need not worry.
As she went inside, now it was my turn to face the fear factor. I went to the door and as I opened it... It was none other that the huge man Mr Iyer himself....
(to be continued...)
Part Four
Now that was like WOW! we were at the tapri, sipping some hot tea and I could feel the heat and pain near my lower lip as it had a swelling there by now and the wound was as fresh and painful as yesterday's incident...
Part Four
As soon
as I opened the door, this huge dark man looked at me with anger.
No. He
wasn’t there to meet my father or for any other purpose. He was there for
Lakshmi.
I with a
freaking sad smile said “Hello uncle… dad’s gone out of station…”
“Where
is Laksmi?” He asked in his thundering voice and I was frozen for a second.
“Laksmi?
Oh! Yeah... She’s there inside the bedroom… (I cursed my mind of not being able
to tell a lie) actually she came to give me some important notes…”
In
reality, I didn’t want to tell that she was there inside. But somehow I just
did that.
Mr Iyer
was at his melting point and he was literally sweating with anger and frustration.
To calm him down and to clear the confusion, I said…
“Actually
uncle, I had some doubts in accountancy. She said she’ll help me clear it out
and we were practicing some problems!” I smiled gaining all my confidence.
Suddenly
there was a BLACKOUT! Yes it was a punch. In superstar Rajnikanth style. Right near
my lower lip.
“Lakshmi”
he again screamed like some dangerous villain from Tamil movies.
“Appa...
naan…” she came out.., her hair was in a mess! Lips had some cuts on it and her
dress was as lousy as Vidya Baalan in dirty picture.
Again...
there was yet another blackout…“Just
shut-up” screamed Mr Iyer…
“Don’t
even dare to cry in front of me!” he shouted when Laksmi was about to cry...
There
was this Tsunami happening in my Romantic Heaven and I couldn’t face Lakshmi in
front of her father. In fact I couldn’t
help her or lend her a saving hand.
She ran
downstairs crying and then there was this moment between me and Mr Iyer.
He came
to me and said… “Let your father come and we shall talk about this”
I was
shattered. So was my love life. Now as soon as Mr Iyer left home, as expected,
I started getting calls from my dad’s mobile. I couldn’t have dared to pick
that up. But when it was about 10-12 missed calls, I picked that up and it was
my mom on the other side. She started shouting and screaming as any other Mom,
without even asking me about the incident.
She was
more worried about my dad’s relation with Iyer and our family reputation than
my character assassination. She even told my dad’s never going to talk to me as
he’s too terrified with this whole incident.
They
still had a couple of days more to reach home and I thought by that time
hopefully the whole incident will cool down.
Next day…
Vacation class was not the same anymore. Laksmi didn’t come to class and my friends
Sheldon and Sydney were totally in themselves. The classroom appeared as a
prison and Mr Shah was still doing his credits and debits.
There
was no fun… No Happiness and every second I was worried about Laksmi and that
brutal dictator. Then the very next moment another dictator’s face flashed in
front of my mind… yes! My father…
They’ll
be here very soon and now I was constantly thinking of ways to manipulate the
incident and change the story. I was deep in my thoughts and dozens of plans
passed by…
Suddenly,
as someone woke me up from a hypnotic state I saw this stupid face of Sydney…
smiling at me and he whispered...
“Mood
kyu kharaab hai? Teri item nahi ayi isiliye?”
That
very moment I felt like killing that a**h*le and then looking at that idiotic
face I felt sympathetic. As I was again trying to get back to my thoughts he
again spoke…
“Lips key
aha kya hua? LOVE BYTE... Aaha… look Sheldon… he’s got a love byte…”
I
screamed “Will you just shut the f**k up?” and suddenly there was this pin drop silence
in the class.
Mr Shah, who's basically cool and calm couldn't bear the 'F' word being screamed aloud.
He at his gentleman best said... "Backbenchers... all three of you please get out and ask your parents to talk to me if they want you guys to continue here... "
(To be continued...)
Part Five
Part Five
I was sad. I was
worried and hard luck followed me one after the other.
It was the judgment
day. Dad and Mom came back home and I somehow managed to convince them that she
was here to study and Mr Iyer misunderstood us both.
My dad was not ready to believe me as he had a
lot of questions on his mind from Why did you lock the door? Why didn’t you ask her to sit here in the living room? Why didn’t she
inform her parents that she was here! And so on. My mom saved me from
that interrogation as usual.
On the other hand, Lakshmi stopped coming for the vacation
classes and debits and credits had become a huge liability… I was unable to
concentrate on the class and was totally upset.
I narrated the whole incident to Sheldon and Sydney but only after adequate
censorship and may be because of that they laughed.
They laughed and laughed at me every time they saw my face! It
was a kind of sweet revenge from their side which is quite understood. I remember the way I laughed at them when I
told them Lakshmi was my neighbor!
After a couple of days they started advising me on what can
be done. But all these days I couldn't meet Lakshmi. No phone calls, No texts
and whenever I tried her number it was switched off.
Being neighbors I never saw her in the building compound or
heard her voice and whenever Mr and Mrs Iyer had to face me, they tried not to
look at me. They hated me literally!
One day, Sydney was teasing me again and he said…
“Chod na
abhi… Ek gayi to doosri ayegi… How many days more will you sit like this! "
I said “I love her… she loves me! She’s just upset of the
fact that I didn’t save her that evening while I could’ve done that with a
simple lie…”
“Why don’t you call her and talk then?” asked Sheldon…
“Her phone is switched off” I said… “And unless and until I
talk to her, she’ll be in this misconception”…
I used to send her my apology text messages and never
received a reply. That evening during
the class I got a delivery message! YES!
It was her… I got to know that her phone has been switched on….
I messaged her… “Hi”
I got a reply “Hi”
I showed that to Sydney and shell… and smiled. I don’t know why, both of them were not so happy.
Sheldon said…. “Hey man… now don’t start over again… leave
her… talk to her later and explain…”
I said “Why? I think you guys are simply jealous… she still
loves me!”
I kept on sending her apologies and I literally had to explain
everything to convince her. At last she seemed to have understood my state of
mind!
I asked her whether she loves me and she said “yes! I love
you” and that was the happiest moment in life.
We kept on chatting through the entire 3 hours of that
session and I said..
‘You know what… When I kissed you, which was like bliss! Heaven…
your tender lips… your hair... with the fragrance of dove… can’t forget all
that… but, whenever i think of all that suddenly your appa’s face comes on to
my mind!... saala dhang se romance bhi karne nahi diya,…”
She said… “What else would you want to do?”
And I said… “I want to romance you… peacefully.. Kiss you
all over….”
She replied “Come home you bastard… We’ll do everything you want
to do…”
The smile on my face faded as soon as I read this… I read it
over and over again… I thought she must be kidding… or may be WILD as we boys
call it…
I looked at Sheldon and Sydney in confusion, trying hard not
to reveal about the text and they seemed to be very busy attending Mr Shah!
I slowly went below the desk. As if I am trying to pick-up
something… and called Lakshmi…
The call got connected and A man with the thundering voice
picked the phone and he said... “You just come home you BASTARD… I will show
you… teri ***** maarta hu….”
Yes it was Mr Iyer…
I disconnect the call and screamed again… This time again,
all of us were thrown out and I requested Sheldon to come along… They smiled
and rejected my proposal for a free body massage!
Next day we were again in Tapri and this time I had many bruises
on my face and the steam from cutting seemed to be of great relief.
We never spoke to each other ever after. That was the end of my short love story which
was as short as a Vacation Class!
